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# 9 - Important Things Never to Say When Someone Has Experienced a Loss.

6/25/2014

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By Bob Rill, B.S., Chaplain
Grief Recovery Specialist
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“You just need more faith.”  Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher?  Go into any public building and you will see fire extinguishers strategically positioned along the walls.  Some are behind a glass door while others are just left hanging on an accessible hook.  In case of a fire the operation is really very simple.  P.A.S.S.  It stands for Pull the pin, Aim the spray nozzle at the base of the fire, Squeeze the handle and spray the contents, Sweep back and forth.  Yet, in most emergency situations the urgency of the circumstances creates a panic and the simple task often becomes confusing.

A griever experiencing a loss will often demonstrate a similar emotion.  Just like a fire we are so inexperienced with how to cope with a loss that we take on a confusing mindset.  Even though a person is a person of faith, the urgency of the current loss they are experiencing can cause a numbness and hinder critical thinking.

The way a person handles grief is not a barometer of their faith, rather it is an emotional expression of their broken heart.  By attacking the griever’s faith, you could cause further confusion and despair.  So, instead of suggesting a larger dose of faith, suggest that you will be there for them when they need a listening ear.  

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Bob Rill, B.S., Chaplain
Grief Recovery Specialist

Bob has 18 years of experience as an educator and administrator. As a Grief Recovery Specialist and Veteran, he delights in helping individuals move beyond the pain of loss.

Bob is available to walk you through the actual steps to recovery.  Call 520-668-5906 and ask for Bob.

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