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Mental Health Monday - 20/20 Hindsight 

12/29/2014

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They say hindsight is 20/20.  If that is the case then a person reaching 65, the most common year thought of for retirement, should just about be approaching perfection.  Since I haven’t met anyone that age or any other age that even comes close to perfection, I thought it would be worthwhile to encourage you and me to look back over 2014 and ask ourselves three important questions. 

While this is normally the time we would make those infamous New Year’s Resolutions that are soon forgotten, I would like you to consider taking a little different approach.  You’ll be the same person next year that you were this year except for the people you meet, the books you read and the experiences you journey through.  So, what are these three important questions?

1.      Are you happier with the person you became in 2014 than the one you were in 2013?
2.      If not, what is the one thing you could develop that will make 2015 an improvement over 2014?
3.      What will it take to get you started on that one thing that will make 2015 a better and happier year?

Hundreds of people have learned the tools that we teach at the Grief &Wellness Group in order to renew their zest for life. 

            “I attended two Grief Recovery sessions with you in the past year…The work
            has really been incredible for me; a year later I am still seeing areas of my life
            that I worked on softening getting lighter, and opening...within me (more than
            ever, in fact!) and within my current relationships…This work has truly been transformative.”  JG

The year 2015 may be the perfect time to acquire what others have learned in order to experience the life you’ve always wanted.
 
            “I didn’t think I needed a grief recovery class.  But I found I had minimized
            the pain as a child of divorce.  I didn’t realize that outburst of anger and
            misdirected hurt toward family members was a result of the loss.  Thanks.”  SG

If you haven’t discovered the sort of tool that can give you this new vitality what are you waiting for?  
New groups are starting January 27th for 8 weeks.  You don’t have to be stuck where you are.  The life you want is waiting for you to claim it!  Call 520-668-5906 now!  It can make all the difference in the world in 2015.


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Mental Health Monday - Strive for Moral Fitness

12/22/2014

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“There are no easy answers, but there are simple answers. We must have the courage to do what we know is morally right.”  Ronald Reagan

I recently heard someone goad another person when they disagreed on the subject of Moral Fitness saying “You think you are so much better than me.”  To which the other person replied “No, I really don’t think I’m better than you, I do believe however, I am more consistent than you.”

What did he mean by that?  I took it to mean that he thought because he had a proven standard of conduct he tried to live up to, perhaps his life was clearly defined and therefore could be more consistent.  This person did have a moral compass to guide his life, and it clearly is noticed by those who come into contact with him. 

Morality is the frame that displays the beautiful picture that used to be the American dream, both individually and collectively as a nation. When the frame is destroyed, a country can no longer exist.  Like the fall of the Roman Empire, America has gone down the road of moral decay in six different areas that need to be reckoned with before it can rebuild its strength.

The decline of Rome was the result of:

1.       Decline in morals and values—crimes and violence made the streets of the cities unsafe.  Lavish parties were given where people drank until they became sick, sex and murder (Colosseum Games) ran ramped.

2.      Political Corruption—central Government expanded so much it became top heavy, causing the wealth of the nation to dry up from heavy taxation.

3.      Unemployment of the working class—using slave labor instead of citizens to do the work, the number of unemployed grew, and they depended on government to feed them.

4.      Failing Economy—the constant wars and heavy spending on military left its mark, and the amount of gold used to make coins declined, making money less valuable (inflation).

5.      Disintegration of the family—bachelors were more highly regarded than fathers and fewer children were born.

6.      Rome stopped protecting its boarders leaving the city open to attack, and unable to maintain trade cities, they could not receive goods from farms causing businesses to disappear.

Did you know this month, December 2014, America lost its place as the world’s most powerful economy?  China has exceeded our position as the world’s largest economy.  How far down the road of decay will we go before we end up like Rome?




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Mental Health Monday - Political Correctness

12/15/2014

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Be not deceived “Bad company ruins good morals.”  KJV

In April the CEO of Mozilla, Brandan Eich, was pressured to resign over his donation to an anti-same-sex marriage campaign.  Brandan is one of the co-founders of  the Mozilla project and one can only assume has made many valuable contributions to the organization, yet the morally bankrupt employees and other users of foxfire that expressed outrage over the donation triggered his resignation.

While foxfire has been my favorite web browser, this move is so offensive to me that I am changing to another browser.  I do wonder where the outrage from supporters on the moral majority are to counteract this assault on Brandan’s personal freedom.  This is just an example of the decay taking place in our country.

This disease being spread throughout our country, primarily on our college campus is called “Political Correctness.”   While the term began as a joke in a comic strip, it now represent nothing pertaining to humor.    It is a powerful term used to police our speech.

Putting the Insane in Charge of the Asylum

This cultural phenomena promotes a tolerance toward things that are morally repugnant to a society that has its roots in biblical guidelines.    While our Founding Fathers gave us the formula for strength and greatness as nation, many current politicians and morally deprived minds drive fear into the hearts of morally upright thinking and behavior.

What’s the solution?

There is a two-step process that should be considered.  Those with a clear moral compass that points true north need to seek to live a life that is exemplary of good and right.  While that is a solid start, life is not lived in a vacuum.  We need to be bold, stand up and voice our objection to the moral bankruptcy sweeping our country.  We need to vote for leadership that will have the backbone and steady hand to help rebuild the decay that has taken place on this front.




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Mental Health Monday   Moral Fitness

12/8/2014

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"Wisdom has its root in goodness, not goodness its root in wisdom." — Ralph Waldo 

As a nation we are reaching the tipping point at the very core of our moral fiber.  As I mentioned last week, TRUTH has become subjective and with it, the fallout of what is good and bad behavior.  I do believe generally people have a sense of what is right and wrong, but unless they are taught right from wrong, they will make their own rules up as they go through life without a clear direction to guide them.

For the sake of this article I would like to call truth, the true north on the compass of life.  If we define it that way, then 180 degree difference would, by default, have to be moral bankruptcy.  In order to remain on course, a person would need to have a stable understanding of where north is, and establish what can be considered to be absolute truth.

So, let’s explore where we might find absolute truth a person can use as a standard to provide guidance for their lives.  The criteria must contain at least five elements in order to qualify. 

1.      It must be consistent and congruent.. 

2.      It must not be bias in favor of one group or thought. 

3.      It must work 100% of the time without exception.

4.      It must not have a hidden agenda.  

5.      It must be clear and discernible, simple to understand

Our dilemma is who or what provides the voice for such information as to what is right and wrong, good and bad, or moral verses immoral.  The field if full of contenders, but it all boils down to just three main sources.

The most in frequent, in your face of instruction today is the media.  This includes things like movies, news outlets—visual and written (magazines and newspaper etc.), and the internet which is really a combination of all media.  Frankly the media doesn’t meet any of the criteria of the five things I’ve mentioned.  For the most part, media is a conglomerate of individuals promoting their own agenda.  The average person spends eight hours a day influenced by the media, and frankly I think that is likely a low number.

Another source of guidance are the laws of our land that govern our lives every day.  Once you realize you can’t legislate morality and make a law that will fit every situation, it too becomes a moot point and useless to serve as a criteria for moral fitness.  Our laws are chiefly constructed by a committee of politicians, and the best description of the work a committee does according to David Cobitz is, “A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members”   Kind of leaves me cold.

The third source for discussion is the Bible.  In my view it is the only source that meets all five criteria needed for pointing a moral direction true north.  Our country was founded on the principals recognized as true between its covers, and most of the founding fathers used it to guide their lives and decisions.  Through the years pastors in our church pulpits used it as the single source for how a person should live their lives.  It once was the greatest factor that helped guide the citizens of this country to the strength and integrity needed to build a great nation.

I wonder if as a nation we have gone down the road of moral bankruptcy so far that we can’t find our way back.  Time will tell, but if there is a moral majority in our country, we had better examine our own lives and then stand up and vote for some integrity and ethical individuals into the leadership positions.


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Mental Health Monday - Moral Fitness

12/1/2014

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“Integrity is not a 90 percent thing, not a 95 percent thing; either you have it or you don't.”  Peter Scotese


I heard a statement the other day about a thief that went like this, “Deep down inside he’s a good person.”  To me that statement says two things loud and clear: 1) the thief knew the difference between right and wrong; and 2) the thief made a clear choice that stealing was okay for him to do. 

If we define morality as knowing the difference between right and wrong, then Moral Fitness is evidenced by how we live our lives every day.  Moral Fitness is the outward expression of your values in all areas of your life. 

As a society, we need guidelines, rules and laws by which we are willing to conduct our lives in order to remain stable and in agreement with a common community.  It used to be that the majority of Americans agreed on what was right and what was wrong or bad.  Doing what was right was expected of everyone and wrong actions were punished. 

However, today morality has become subjective.  It is often determined by a review of the circumstances including a person intentions.  Even the cost of time and money to bring the infraction to justice is frequently a deciding factor.

So, the petty thief is allowed to walk away with a handful of cigars.  The bank writes off a bad loan because it would be too costly to collect, and the country turns its collective head when the political leadership violates his or her oath of office.

There is a real problem with this kind of behavior.  Even a small hole gets deeper and deeper if we keep digging in the same place.  While Moral Fitness is a personal choice each of us must make, there are laws, rules and ethical guidelines we need to follow in order to keep the very fabric of our country intact.  Be sure and comeback next week to read and discover the ultimate source for our ethical behavior.


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    Author

    Bob Rill, B.S., Chaplain
    Grief Recovery Specialist

    As a Grief Recovery Specialist and Veteran, he delights in helping individuals move beyond the pain of loss.

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