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MENTAL HEALTH MONDAY - STINKIN' THINKIN'

10/27/2014

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Cure for “Stinkin’ Thinkin’”

There is an old joke about two ladies enjoying a cup of coffee together and one lady says, “Whenever I’m down in the dumps, I get a new hat.” To which the other lady replies “Oh my dear, I always wondered where you picked up those ugly things.”

So, how do you handle things when you are down in the dumps?  Here are some suggestions that may help you with your attitude when you become discouraged or overwhelmed.

1.       Take a break - When day-to-day activities start to get you down, stop staring at the problem, take a walk, go to lunch or do whatever you can do to clear your head. You should realize a renewed vigor with a clearer head when you return to the task at hand.

2.      Focus on your longer term goals - If you are overwhelmed by so many things that need to be done, shorten your “to do list.” Pick just two items that need to be accomplished. The first one could be something you really enjoy and can be accomplished quickly and easily. The second item can be one that will contribute the most to your long term goals.  Remember, most deadlines can be moved without too much damage being done.

3.      Call in the Cavalry - It is possible to pay someone else to do almost anything.  There is a surrogate that is willing and prepared to do anything from your grocery shopping to picking up your dog’s poop from your yard.  You may even have a friend that will come alongside you to make the task more enjoyable.  Remember, two people usually can get the work done three times faster than one person can anyway.

Each of us need to realize and develop steps that will reconnected us to life. These suggestions may help you start to develop what you need to do to get over a down turn in your attitude.

If the rug is pulled out from underneath you however, there are more effective steps you can take to get back on your feet. Give the Grief & Wellness Group a call to find out what they are and let us help get your mojo back.

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Mental Health Monday - Attitude Fitness

10/21/2014

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Testing Your Resolve

We’ve been talking about Attitude Fitness the last few weeks.  If you’ve given your attitude awareness some thought, what kind of grade would you give yourself?  Take a minute, think about it and grade yourself.  The trick here is to be completely honest with where you currently stand, right this minute . . . . Ready?

Grade yourself on the following scale of A+ to F.

A+ I would say, Norman Vincent Peale, move over!  I have the next best, greatest book ready to come out on the power of positive thinking.

B In all humility, I have a very positive attitude.  There are only a few things that get me off my game.  Just ask my spouse.

C I’m encouraged most of the time but when something goes wrong, I always think the worst.

D When I get up in the morning, I just know something will spoil my day.  It’s either going to rain, I’m going to get into a car accident or something bad is going to happen.

F I don’t want to get out of bed.  You are likely to see my picture on TV’s Top 20 Most Frustrated People program.

If you’ve been honest with yourself you are likely somewhere less than the A+.  The good news is that your attitude is a habit you can improve and correct.  It takes just 21 days to develop a new and improved habit.

To prove to yourself that you can do it, take this simple test.  When you cross your arms, which arm is on the outside or on top?  For the right handed person it’s usually the right arm that rests on top.  For the next 21 days every time you cross your arms, change it up and place your left arm on top and on the outside.  In other words, whichever way you did it originally do the opposite for the next 21 days.  At first it will seem awkward but you will remember that you decided to change.  And, after 21 days it will seem just as comfortable as the original way you used to cross your arms.

Once you’ve experimented with that test, tackle the task of improving your attitude.  

Step 1. Identify the area of your attitude you want to change, only one.  

Step 2.  For the next 21 days every time something triggers you in that specific area to get you off your game (bad attitude), change it up.  Try looking for the silver lining or possibly force yourself to just say “Thank you” - whatever fits your particular situation.  Sounds crazy I know but just try it.  I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the progress you will make in your attitude.  

Finally, repeat, repeat, repeat steps one and two for 21days on your next project. 

Most of us will not likely become an A+ positive person, but we can move closer to the A every 21 days!

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Attitude Fitness - Attitude is Everything!

10/13/2014

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"There's real magic in enthusiasm.  It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment." 
Norman Vincent Peale

Let's take a look at color in an effort to further understand Attitude Fitness.  This is a natural path to understanding this topic since black is considered the absence of color, while white represents a combination of all colors.

I'm told that when a fire reaches its greatest intensity, it glows white!  So, let's let white represent the most enthusiastic attitude a person can display.  Then, let's let black represent the kind of attitude that we might refer to as "stinkin' thinkin'."

One more observation.  Everyone seems to agree that attitude is 10% the event, circumstances, or things in general that happen to you and 90% of your reaction to what happened.  So then, having said all of that, the question is, How then do you create and live the life you've always wanted?  Attitude Fitness is like most other areas of your life.  It develops as a healthy habit or an unhealthy one.  You can work to develop that healthy habit that reflects a burning white fire displaying a zest for the life you are living or a black hole of desperation and despair you don't seem to be able to get free from.

Attitude Fitness:


  1. Gets things done   
  2. Brings more happiness into your life
  3. Works toward achieving goals
  4. Produces more energy
  5. Gets more respect from others
  6. Helps attain successful ends
  7. Generates love from other people

Hmm...I've just described the results of a positive attitude.  Do I need to list the detailed results of the black hole?  Well, you can if you like but I choose not to waste the energy on it since everyone has either been there or has seen someone disappear into that hole.

How do you change from the dark place to step into the white light?

The first step in to recognize and acknowledge you are in a dark place.  The next step is to decide to do something about it.  The Grief & Wellness Group can give you the steps that will move you into the white light and get rid of the baggage that is keeping you trapped in that black hole.  Call us today.
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Attitude Fitness

10/6/2014

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Ability is what you're capable of doing.  Motivation determines what you do.  Attitude determines how well you do it." 
Lou Holtz


Attitude fitness is one of those elusive terms that is hard to define.  We can describe its many faces without being able to pin down a clear definition.

Attitude makes the journey either a pleasant one or a chore.  It makes us liked or one who is to be avoided.  It is in fact best understood by using the word itself to help carry the message.  Take the statement from Norman Vincent Peale, "Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure.  The way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it.  You are overcome by the fact because you think you are."  In essence all that you do, all the events that come your way are better served by believing in your ability to accomplish a desired end.  

I've come to the conclusion that a can do attitude is that spark inside you that first gets you off the launching pad and keeps you pressing forward despite the obstacles that stand in your way.  My challenge for you this month is to take 30 days, renew the spark that got you launched and identify the path that will fan the flames of passion to help you get the most out of every day and everything you do.     

One of my favorite role models for determination is Michael Jordan.  Jordan had a fabulous career in NBA Basketball giving many of us a renewed enjoyment of the game.  The grace and style with which he played the game during his NBA years earned him the distinction of being the greatest basketball player of all time.  During his career he claimed to have missed 9,000 shots, lost 300 games and when given the opportunity 26 times to make the winning shot, he failed to score.

Michael's dunking ability, gliding from the free-throw line to the hoop, gave him the nickname Air Jordan or His Airness and during his playing career probably was the subject of more sportscast replays than any single player in history.

Michael Jordan is remembered for his accomplishments and passion for the game of basketball - not for the misses and failures of games lost.  Jordan learned that kind of grace under pressure by making every day count because of the desire that began burning in him for the game of basketball.

What have you yet to accomplish?  The choices you make everyday will either bring you closer to that goal or prevent you from achieving it.  A can do attitude will be the spark to ignite the passion in you to overcome whatever obstacles may come your way. 




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    Author

    Bob Rill, B.S., Chaplain
    Grief Recovery Specialist

    As a Grief Recovery Specialist and Veteran, he delights in helping individuals move beyond the pain of loss.

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