Within a couple years of his cancer diagnosis, he reached out to me. He even went to the trouble to drive for a couple of hours to spend time with me. Shortly after these visits began to occur, my husband started a new job, and we moved 1,500 miles away. We were getting settled in to our Seattle-area home when I got the call from my grandmother.
I felt guilty that I didn’t feel terribly sad, like I was about to lose someone dear to me, but I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t get on the first flight out and go see him. After all, he’d made the effort to begin a relationship with me.
I spent two days with my birth father and then, he was gone. I will never regret the time we had – just the two of us – in his hospital room. But I don’t remember crying much at all, and I felt guilty about that.
Within a year, my adoptive father died of cancer as well. I was sad, but there weren’t many tears. I believed the myth that I had to be strong for those around me, especially my mother who was leaning heavily on me to help with funeral arrangements.
It wasn’t until much later that the flood gates opened. I was in a safe place, a place of honesty, and I couldn’t stop crying. I finally grieved. I grieved the loss of these relationships and other losses in my life. I’d put these emotions neatly on a shelf in a tightly sealed box, but once the lid was removed, my emotions poured out. I was on my way toward much needed completion.
Through some very specific action steps, I began the journey of grief recovery. It wasn’t always easy, but it has been one of the most liberating experiences I’ve had in my life. I’ve learned I don’t always have to be strong and it is okay, even normal to FEEL my emotions. Sometimes there are tears and other times there are not, and that is also okay. Now I can live in the present and not be hindered by my past.
I hope you’ll take the time to call The Grief and Wellness Group and begin your freedom journey, no matter what losses you’ve experienced. We will walk with you and help you take the action steps needed.
You can live with a lightened load! Call to join a class or, if you prefer a more private setting, individual sessions are also available. Call today! 520-668-5906 or 520-405-6774
Grief Recovery Specialist
The Grief & Wellness Group
Kim has walked through the separation from her birth family for seventeen years of her childhood and the loss of innocence that abuse brings. With her B.A in Communications and a huge heart for those who are hurting, Kim has a desire to help guide others to move beyond loss to grief recovery.