She lost her mother five years ago and was still grieving deeply. “I just can’t move beyond my grief or it will seem like I’ve forgotten her,” she told me. “I mean, if I get better it will be like I don’t care about her anymore.”
‘Let me get this straight,’ I responded. ‘If you move beyond this dark cloud you’re under, this grief you’ve been carrying for years, you’ll dishonor the memory of your mother?’
“Yes…It would seem like I don’t love her anymore. So, I try to smile and keep myself busy.”
‘So, when you carry around the pain, it honors your mother, and that’s why you can’t allow yourself to move beyond it?’
This is how the conversation went, and sadly I’ve had many other similar discussions. The scary thing about what we call “grief myths” and the masks we wear is that they are SO real and such a part of all we’ve been taught. We all learn them from well-meaning people we’ve observed in our lives and from society in general. It takes time to undo, or unbelieve them and retrain our thinking. Usually our natural bent is to be drawn to what we’ve always believed. The sad thing is that what we’ve always believed isn’t always true or healthy for us!
The truth is once we take a few small and correct action steps outlined in the Grief Recovery Method, which includes removing our “smile masks,” we are more fully able to enjoy the memories of our loved ones. We experience a greater sense of happiness and well-being. The challenge is to convince those who are still carrying around a heavy load that this is possible. That is why The Grief and Wellness Group is here.
Call today to get started!! 520-668-5906 or 520-405-6774
Grief Recovery Specialist
The Grief & Wellness Group
Kim has walked through the separation from her birth family for seventeen years of her childhood and the loss of innocence that abuse brings. With her B.A in Communications and a huge heart for those who are hurting, Kim has a desire to help guide others to move beyond loss to grief recovery.