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10 Excuses—Why People Avoid Grief Recovery

10/4/2013

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by Bob Rill

A few months ago my wife wanted to go out to dinner. I couldn’t afford McDonalds with the $4 I had in my pocket, so we stopped at an ATM to pick up some quick cash. The ATM was located an outside and even though it was not yet dark, the bank security lights were already blazing.

While making my transaction, a homeless man came out of the bushes at the corner of the bank. He had a bottle in his hand, holding it by the neck, and his plans for me were obvious as he approached me. When he was half way across the length of the building, my wife spotted him, started honking the car horn and yelling out the window. Fortunately for me, he turned around and disappeared back into the bushes.

Just a few weeks later, a Tucson woman was not so lucky. A gunman approached her, beat her and stole her purse. This was also in a parking lot of a well-lit shopping mall. A witness tried to intervene, but the robber threatened him with the gun he waved in his face. The lady is hospitalized with serious injuries from the thief’s vicious beating. 

I would have happily turned over my newly acquired $40 to the homeless man to avoid a headache that could have lasted the rest of my life. Thankfully, I was not put into a position of make that choice.

We all make judgments on the value we place about the things that shatter our lives. Only you can put a price on the healing of those things that have left your heart scarred, battered, and broken. You can trick yourself into believing any one of the ten excuses that can steal your hope for happiness available through grief recovery. There is always a price to pay for the decisions we make or fail to make. Count the cost now as you consider these 10 excuses for avoiding grief recovery.

1.    I don’t want to bring up past pain again.
2.    I don’t want to be judged for what I’ve gone through.
3.    I’m just too busy; I don’t have any free time.
4.    I’m afraid of what else it will drag out of my memory. (Most aren’t interested in opening Pandora’s box.)
5.    I have to be strong for my family.
6.    I really think I’m doing okay.
7.    I don’t want to lose my composure in front of anyone.
8.    Our family doesn’t talk about those kinds of things.
9.    It might make me feel out of control.
10.    It is way too expensive. 

I have counted the cost and decided—NO MORE EXCUSES. I am worth the investment—and so are you. Call the Grief and Wellness Group today and take your first steps toward healing your broken heart.

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Bob Rill, B.S., Chaplain
Grief Recovery Specialist

Bob has 18 years of experience as an educator and administrator. As a Grief Recovery Specialist and Veteran, he delights in helping individuals move beyond the pain of loss.

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