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Valentine's Day - Bah Humbug!

2/6/2014

2 Comments

 
By Bob Rill

It’s February and the airwaves are filled with commercials reminding us Valentine’s Day is approaching. 

I’ve yet to count the ways those commercial entities are prodding us to consider their product. 

·       “Everyone loves roses.” 

·       “Show her you care with our new Care Bear.”

·       “Make sure the card says Hallmark.” 

While everyone needs to get the message out that their product is available, to many people it is a haunting reminder that their love has disappeared from death, divorce or a dissolved relationship.

If the Ghost of Valentine’s Past comes to haunt your broken heart, there are a few suggestions that might help you enjoy the season.  First, complete the past relationship that caused your heart to break. What does it mean to complete a relationship?  It means to say good-bye to any pain associated with any regrets or unfulfilled hopes and dreams you had for that relationship.  If you need help in knowing exacting how to do this, give us a call at 520-668-5906 today, and let us walk you through the process. 

Once this has been done, not only will you be more likely to enjoy Valentine’s Day, you’ll be able to move forward with your life and form new healthy relationships.    

The next suggestion is to accept where you are at this very moment. Becoming content in your present circumstance gives you the opportunity for growth.  It is my opinion that God, our Creator, allows you to experience lonely moments in order for you to grow through the circumstance.  One way you can grow is to realize God loves you and is there for you.  Another way you can grow is to realize and cherish the relationships you have, so that you live each day with no regrets. 

Life is full of changes.  Change always brings loss.  Each loss may be a mere shadow of something better to come, or may leave you empty wondering how anything could be any better.

The only way we can be open to the new possibilities is by walking through grief.  You will often hear me say grief is a choice.  So, unless you choose to grieve, you will probably look too quickly to replace the loss you’ve experienced.  Suppose you do.  It may not be in your best long-term interest.

This year the women in my life will be getting roses. Along with that, they will get one of the expensive cards from Hallmark containing a verse that says something I only wish I could have thought to write myself.  So why do I tell you that?  Because this year I can afford to do it and they are still with me, which brings me to my next point.

If you’re the recipient of flowers or some other gift this Valentine’s Day, I hope you will take time to enjoy and “smell the roses.”  Make time for those important people in your life that made the effort to think of you and celebrate the occasion.  Enjoy the memory of what just happened in your life, and show your gratitude for their thoughtfulness. 

Now, that brings me to my final suggestion.  Even though you may not have that someone special in your life this Valentine’s Day, there are those who have had a big impact on your life.  I’ll be sending out some other “thinking of you” cards this year with a brief sentiment of appreciation regarding my connection to them.  So therein is my suggestion to you.  Bless those who have blessed you.  You’ll be amazed at the emotional reward you’ll receive by being an encouragement to others.

It is my privilege to help others live life in the present.  By resolving past grief issues and learning this powerful tool, happiness can continue to be your frequent companion.

If you are not able or willing to learn how, well then, you know…bah humbug!  Not just with Valentine’s Day but with most other days of your life as well.
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Bob Rill, a Grief Recovery Specialist, is available to walk you through the actual steps to recovery.  Call 520-668-5906 and ask for Bob.

2 Comments
Mark Perkins
2/6/2014 08:34:01 am

I enjoyed reading your message. It was great to hear what you have to say about Valentine's Day. 24 years of marriage and I can't believe it's been that long. Marriage is one of the greatest gifts that God gave us. You and Bobby have a wonderful Valentine's Day and I love both of you

Reply
Vickie Skevington
2/6/2014 01:36:43 pm

I remember some very valuable words from a very important person in my life when I was going through my divorce and I had shared with her how lonely the holiday had become. She said (crying at the time as her heart ached for me) "Vickie just fall into the arms of Jesus and let him hold and comfort you." I did that very thing and cried to my Jesus as I know His heart ached for me as well. That very important person was Bobbie Rill. I challenge everyone to pick up that phone and call The Grief Recovery Group. You will NEVER regret taking that first step to healing the hurts that have had more of an impact on your life and the lives of those around you than you are aware of.
Thank you Bob and Bobbie for having a servant's heart and heeding God's call on your lives many years ago and you are going even stronger now. Your emails, cards and facebook posts are a blessing to me and constant reminder that healing is a minute by minute process.

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