What is it about water that has such a magnetic pull? It seems as though everyone enjoys the soothing sound of water. My wife will sit for hours in the warm sun listening to the trickle of the water fountain while taking in the sweet smell of the spring orange blossoms. I personally prefer the sound of the surf pounding against the beach while digging my toes into the warm sand. I enjoy the mist of the salt spray peppering my face while watching the sailboats bobbing up and down along the horizons.
The sight of a sailboat pressing against the wind, careening up and down, makes me wonder if it’s owner is headed for some exotic port I can only dream about. I would be willing to bet that every boat owner dreams of leaving the rat race behind and heading across the horizon for the white sands for the exciting ports of call.
There are some that take to the cruising lifestyle and do it successfully; others are not as fortunate to realize their dream. My wife and I enjoy walking along the docks seeing those magnificent sailboats. Boats tugging at their dock lines as if to say, “I don’t belong here, I’m meant to be out cutting through the waves.”
Boats are not designed to just sit at the dock, but often that is exactly where they spend most of their lives. I’m told that the average boat owner only uses his or her boat 12 days out of the year.
WHAT? So much for living the dream.
If you take a walk by any anchorage anywhere in the world, you’ll see a haggard boat—probably more than one—that bears the scars of not being used in a very long time. They are boats that are sitting on the water, simply rotting away.
These boats are easy to spot; usually they list from side to side. Their waterline is typically black and full of barnacles. The boat’s gel coat is pitted and bubbling, the hardware is rusted or even missing. More often than not the halyards and sails have been removed or stolen. These boat are a sad, lonely and a decrypted sight. They sit silent in the water, a sure sign of the death of a dream.
I often wonder about the story behind these boats. If you could look behind the curtain, I guarantee you would find a loss. You might see an owner that died, divorced, suffered bankruptcy or maybe became too ill to keep things in ship shape. Such tragedies can shatter boat owner’s dreams.
The same things you see in boats can happen to people. When the losses and tragedies come into our lives, there are only two choices you can make.
1. Throw up your hands as if to say, “What’s the use?”
2. Put on your tool belt and get to work.
No matter what personality the children’s books give a little sailboat, or how hard those boat try, boats are not able to repair damage done to them. But you can repair the emotional damage that has come your way. You have what you need to do what is necessary. You have a good head on your shoulders. Your heart (even though it may even be a broken heart) can heal. And if you choose to take the steps necessary to get through whatever has come your way, you can make repairs. You even have opposing thumbs to work with, making it easy to hold a pencil.
In working with people who have experienced a loss no matter how big or small, I know I can help to get you through it. I find that Grievers seldom lack the courage to get through what has happened. What they really lack is the knowledge of what to do through the process.
I can show you the tools that will take you through any difficulty you are confronted with. While Bobbie, my wife, or Bob—that’s me—can walk you through a tough journey, the choice is yours. Make a decision not to get a rope burn from holding on too tight or worse yet, drown with a ship that has already sank. Give us a call 520-688-5906.
Grief Recovery Specialist
Bob has 18 years of experience as an educator and administrator. As a Grief Recovery Specialist and Veteran, he delights in helping individuals move beyond the pain of loss.