It was our summer vacation, and I couldn’t wait to get up the mountain to our campground! As a young girl, I loved our one to two week camping trips on Mogollon Rim each year, but as I’d gotten into my teens, I’d become full of the pines, camp fires, fishing, playing Hearts and relaxing with a good book only after a few days. But this trip was going to be different. My cousins were coming! AND the oldest one had his license! This was going to be fun! Well, for the most part.
One afternoon my cousins and I were given the task of driving to the closest market to pick up some milk. We hopped in with 17-year-old Tim at the helm of his dad’s car, and merrily headed around the Canyon Point Campground loop and out onto the highway. With the windows down and the wind blowing through my hair, I felt happy and free.
On our way back from the market, we were all laughing and joking and I found my young self saying, ‘Just pull over and I’ll get out and walk! HaHa!’ Tim thought it would be funny to do it, so he pulled off the highway and told me to get out, and he drove off. I knew he’d have to turn around and come back for me, but at that moment my teenage mind had the “BEST” idea yet, and I decided I’d cross the highway and run through the woods back to our campground just to trick him. So, as Tim turned around and proceeded to drive up and down the highway looking for me, I ran laughing through the woods just out of sight.
When I arrived back at camp, I found out Tim and crew had returned to look for me and then headed back to comb the highway. His dad wasn’t happy with him and mine wasn’t at all happy with me. When they finally returned with relief-mixed-with-frustration looks on their faces, I thought it was great UNTIL my dad yelled at me, embarrassing me in front of everyone. I did what every “mature” young teen would do; I ran to my tent, and cried and pouted.
After being in there for what seemed like forever, my Marine cousin, Jim, the father of the others, came in to talk to me. “Kim,” he said, “Are you going to stay in here and let this ruin your whole day?” He beckoned me to come out and enjoy dinner and the upcoming camp fire. After a few minutes of thought, I knew I’d much rather be with these fun people than mope alone, so I dragged myself back to the center of camp, apologized and enjoyed a wonderful evening with my family. Tim and I would later chuckle about our silliness.
I’m sure I had cousin Jim’s words in the back of my mind, as usual, when I joined my first Grief Recovery Group with Bobbie Rill, and completed the process of the Grief Recovery Method. I decided I wasn’t going to let the dark cloud of loss and discouragement due to others’ actions and my responses to hover over me the rest of my life. And I’m so glad I made that decision. I’m thankful for the action steps that have allowed me to freely and confidently forgive, trust and fully love. I’m thankful for the lessons I learned about taking responsibility for what is mine and letting go of what isn’t. I have since used this effective method with many losses in my life.
This summer, I hope you’re not letting a dark cloud hang over your plans and “ruin your day.” Come out of your tent, take some action steps and get complete with any loss with the Grief Recovery Method. We’d love to walk with you through the process.
Grief Recovery Specialist
The Grief & Wellness Group
Kim has walked through the separation from her birth family for seventeen years of her childhood and the loss of innocence that abuse brings. With her B.A. in Communications and a huge heart for those who are hurting, Kim has a desire to help guide others to move beyond loss to grief recovery.